posted November 10, 2000 04:20 PM              

QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road?

ANSWERS:

VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now.
I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the
chickens and I will not disappoint them.

GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the
road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of
strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.

SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in their own
way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be
denied the right to cross the road in their own way.

SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted
to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the
road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.

RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tiremakers.
Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tiremakers to create the need
for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage
to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and
simple as that.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having
their motives called into question.

YOUR GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
"chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?

PRESIDENT GEORGE H.W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

BO PILGRIM
Damn - I missed one?

On a serious note...whatEVER your "breed of cat" may be...come tomorrow - you
don't VOTE,